I think I figured it out! I figured out why you are struggling with the BlackLivesMatter movement, the protests you see on tv, the videos of police killings, the riots, the Black people complaining all the time about racism. I figured it out. For a long time, I have struggled with how this could even be possible. We all watch the same videos. We all read the same stories. We live in the same universe. How is it that we could see these things so differently? But it just hit me. So, I want to take a moment to talk with you. Just the two of us. People of color, white people who already understand, you can look away now. This is a private conversation.
Are they gone? Okay. I know why you are struggling with all this. It's called cognitive dissonance. The human mind struggles with having two opposing ideas occupy the mind at the same time. If I suggest that you imagine that the protestors, looters, the people you see complaining on Facebook, etc. may be protesting actual injustice, it makes you uncomfortable. So much so that you may even attempt to avoid thinking about it. Why? It's because accepting this thought would require you to acknowledge the possibility that the people with whom you identify (the white people, the authorities, etc) might be the oppressors in these scenarios. Once you accept that they are the oppressor AND that you identify or see yourself as like them, that leads to the next logical question: does that make me bad too? Am I the oppressor? You undoubtedly consider yourself a good, kind, loving, and fair person. As such, you would never side with or be like the bad guys. So, you MUST continue to believe that the Black people protesting and complaining are misguided souls who just don't "get it." Any other thought leads to cognitive dissonance.
Here’s the fly in the ointment. Throughout American history, this has happened. One hundred and fifty years ago, when people were fighting to end slavery, white people were convincing themselves that Black people weren't actually people, in order to justify their actions. Fifty years ago, when people fought for desegregation and civil rights, people were attempting to convince themselves that keeping Black people separate made good sense. And now, all across America, people are convincing themselves that these police killings are justified, even though they (you) undoubtedly know someone who ran from the cops, mouthed off to the cops, had a gun during a traffic stop, or broke the law in some way and yet didn't get shot to death by police. You fight to justify it, because it will allow you to continue to believe that you are the good guys.
But, I'm gonna let you off the hook. I’m gonna wipe the slate clean. I am about to clear your conscience for good. (Black people, look away! I told you this was private.) Okay, here it is. Being a part of the group, or identifying with the group, that is doing wrong doesn't make you a bad person. Being a part of the group that is doing wrong AND not speaking up about it makes you a bad person. So, seeing as you didn’t know that five minutes ago, we’re gonna call it even. You’re good. But, that also means that after you put down this letter, you’re gonna need to continue to keep your conscience clear. That will mean having some tough conversations with your brethren. It might mean siding with the protesters. It might mean telling on your friends. I know it will be hard. Believe me. I don’t envy your position. Five minutes ago, you could have claimed ignorance and kept it moving. Now you actually have to be proactive. But, look on the bright side. No more guilt!
So, good luck out there, folks. I believe in you. I’m here for you. (And now you are here for me, so that works out great.) If you call, I may not answer right away. I’m probably busy dealing with all the Black people who are angry with me for letting you off the hook so easily. But, that’s my problem. I got it. Don’t worry. You’ll have your hands full anyway.
Okay, so... go team! Good talk. I think that went well.
Rueben Brock, PhD NCC LPC
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